i'm outta here.

thaz it. nuff. i'm off to have some fun.

booked the car and the room.cant wait for the 7th. also, cant wait for these guys to respond to my email about the business partners and the astrologers.

while i'm off sinning, u figure this. what are missing cows doing here?

target -> me.

yeah, everything is BAU. just another monday. period.

after an almost-perfect weekend (how i wish i was talking abt it now!) i wake up on this wonderful day to a mind-numbing surprise - i cant find my car. in my covered parking spot. inside the apartment, this 'closed community'. first reaction - oh fk its stolen!. second -and the correct- thought - waitaminute wat if someone towed it?

they confirmed they have her. 138-TLJ. T as in Taken, L as in Lost and J as in a fuckin Joke!

WTF happened? y did the guy at the apartment give me this spot if it was assigned to someone else? the apartment office doesnt open until 10AM, here i'm hoping i wont lose my cool n give that peabrain more than a fair helping of a piece of my mind.

breathe, slow n steady. just concentrate on breathing. for now.

update : shez hurt! :'-(

the craving.

am i forgetting to live? it somehow feels like i'm waiting for something to happen. like this moment does not matter. weekends always bring a sense of elation with it. it used to be associated with all the fun things for the next two days. or even just the damn break from work. but now its different. now the elation is coz another week has passed.

not sure wer i am rushing to. not sure whats in store, wats waiting around the corner (n i loathe it.). but theres this intolerable longing. for that something thaz around the corner. n im rushing for it. cant wait. it all sounds kinda crazy, but somehow makes perfect sense.

like its all gonna b ok. once i turn the corner. but its painful. it hurts. like a day without love.

almost screwed!

phew!

boy! theres something 'out there' that wishes me to see another day. or i am plain lucky. maybe those are just two different ways to say the same thing.

i almost died 20 minutes back. these left turns are always tricky. especially wenyu cant see the other lane wen a fkn truck blocks ur way. especially wen thers a fkn pickup speeding @ 60mph to beat the yellow light on the other lane. especially since the person laking a left is held responsible by law. ok ok, maybe i shuda waited that extra second for the green arrow too.

thanks god for the brakes. on that pickup. and thank god for the V6 on mah baby. and thank god the guy on the bicycle stopped in time too. my fingers are still trembling. maybe i'll celebrate tonight!

watevers 'out there', listen yo: that was fkn close! poof!

god exists!

but y cant he do this to me?

su-vveet huh?

going/gone bonkers...

sometimes i feel like a coward. maybe i am confusing it with insecurity. maybe not. cant really place it. kinda lost, again! but its for sure, theres this massive inertia problem. otherwise call it comfort zone. im stuck. gravity suddenly(?) acting too strongly. lazy u say? neah i know how that feels. this feels kinda different.

this just feels like i'ma stuck. and theres no wiggle room (ah, another instance of work parlance creeps in...cant help notice there are too many of these intrusions lately..the dull n predictable work me is slowly taking over the normal n crazy me -there! another me definition:normal n crazy! kinda oxymoron rite?- and it just aint rite...wat? u say thaz called growin' up? how boring!..duh wats with all the digressions huh?) at all. for wat? anything apart from wat im stuck in. wat am i stuck in? this thought.

this thought that has many branches. the defining question (there. there! c wat i mean?) is smthg that should sound like 'wat am i doing here'? no. dont go too deep. here is not this world, the reason for existence n all that gud stuff. not just yet. maybe here is at work. but then i have this vague memory of me telling myself -that i kinda like this work. hmmm. maybe then its the ppl. but then they are everywer rite? maybe here is the loneliness. lo! there. we have a winner. its all coming back to me now ;). (is this the real reason i do this? y havent i ever written abt some environmental issue or smthg? duh!)

so feel like going away. but cant. sad. its kinda weird too, like a situation magnet (dyu believe that? i just came up with that crap). every irritation is like a situation enhancer. this sucks!

bleak picture huh? im kinda gud @ exaggeration methinks ;)

too lazy to elaborate.

ifyu r depressed andyu do not have a reason to be depressed, thenyu have a reason to be depressed.

she told me this. whacky, but true.

something to smile abt!

This.

hahaha :)

maybe its coffee??

...or maybe not.

Wonder Y!

A : Feeling much better, discharged from Critical Care and hospital. (Phew!)
Moving : Done. (New place, new roomie, so far so good!)
Payroll issues : Resolved. (a BIG Phew!)
Blood Pressure : Back to normal. (translates to- start eating again!)

I should be ecstactic. Wonder Y i'm not! :)