Cogito ergo sum

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Location: FL, United States

Lazy, Dreamy, Thoughtful, Confident, Hooked on to music, Big smile, A hopeless romantic - thaz me!

Monday, November 28, 2005

another boring read.

yeah yeah the trip to himalayas is still on...but whilst I am still contemplating the big picture, I stumbled upon qatar cats list of things that made her happy…quite a simple list, yet very interesting…small things that make a big difference, albeit temporarily…n I guess thaz wat I need now…count my blessings? absolutely! So here goes, in no particular order – some random stuff that bring a smile:)

  • a smile. theres nothing as contagious i’ve ever known. even a smile from a stranger.
  • when I’ve made someone smile. i guess the best gift.
  • the beach. the sound of the waves. am totally enchanted by it. could listen to the waves forever.
  • holding hands while walking. holding hands while walking on a beach.
  • good music. its a long list, so wont go there.
  • singing along when no ones around.
  • a long stimulating chat. with anyone. on anything.
  • the color red. on a flower. on most things. on a dress. especially if its on a girl.
  • shopping. for me and for others. especially for others. spending in general.
  • getting mail. snail mail, email, any mail (even female –oh whatta hopeless pj…just cudnt resist it ;))
  • a good smell. of shampoo. or a candle. food. perfume. a new book. fresh coffee. always a turn on.
  • a good book.
  • no voice mails on the fone wen i step out for a while.
  • the thought that it’s a friday.
  • wearing something i really really like.
  • taking a good picture.
  • blogging. or writing in general. even letters. or emails.
  • a cold beer. even better a cold beer at a waterfront. have this thing for water.
  • a good game of tennis. win or lose.
  • long drives. game for traveling any day.
  • planning for a trip. in detail. and then not adhering to any.
  • when I hear N’s voice over the fone. just warms the heart.
  • a tight hug with someone close to me. amazing feeling. anywer anytime.
  • movie with frnds. however bad.
  • meetings that end early. nothing like some unplanned free time.
  • when someone prepares food for me. yummy or not.
  • a long hot shower. when music’s playing.
  • lazing around in the bed/couch listening to music. maybe a beer in hand
  • girls with long hair. or a beautiful smile. or a dimple. a tall girl.
  • watch a girl eat. or sing. or dance. watch a girl play with her hair.
  • the british accent. especially females. liz hurley in bedazzled n keira knightley in pride n prejudice almost killed me.
  • a fast car. especially if its red in color.
  • greenery. lotsa trees.
  • a trip to the hillside. especially if its cold.
  • yummy food. spicy n hot.
  • reading calvin n hobbes. or dilbert. luv those guys.
  • when someone says he/she has fallen in luv. I kno how that feeling is. and wat that does to u.
  • a long walk. especially when there is not a lot of noise.
  • a massage. pampering in general.
  • when someone really understands what I feel abt smthg. Its not that easy anymore.


…I guess there are lots more…but bleah…just got bored…till next time dearies :)

Monday, November 21, 2005

el paraíso mejicano

last weekend, i got like thisss close to finding the flush knob on my head...the one which would send all the crazy thoughts whirling out to nowhere....even if its a temporary thing.....maybe i am exaggerating...maybe like all getaways, this one is also overrated....maybe i needed a break so badly....from the thoughts...thoughts that have no business anyway to bother me nag me irritate me....instead of making peace with them, i've been trying to hide and run away and all that...too busy to understand i guess...which in turn causes more heartburn...watta pitiful situ...

anyways the point is...we went to méxico....puerto penasco, otherwise known as the rocky point beach, 100-odd miles from the arizona mexico border.....the rocky point could easily be the nearest beach to us in phoenix...and from heat of arizona, it was nothing short of a paradise....the time was well spent para gliding over the water, riding on ATVs and almost getting killed doing crazy maneuvers on hillsides, eating unknown but interesting looking mejican seafood, pretending to be lazy seals on the shore, getting drunk on cocktails like there is no tomorrow and indulging ourselves in other more exotic pastimes which were typical to this beach town…

chk out the view from our hotel room...


there are a number of things which intrigued on the trip, but none more than the 'exotic' bit mentioned above ...girls...i'm not talking about the numerous biker babes who hung around….nude girls..in the many many bars on either sides of the main road….on open-top bigfoots on the road…giving lap dances…rather ‘table dances’ as they liked to call it…..the babes are ready to go to any extent…stopping only when you ask them to stop….its not like it was a red light area or anything…but then the place was so made for fun, and this was an integral part of what it had to offer….surely a big tourist attraction too…especially since the ‘services’ were dirt cheap…

got me thinking….i’ve been to many a gentleman’s club here in the US…mostly with the gang and we always have fun….and these places never give me a creepy feeling….until mexico happened….the receptionist at our resort recommended guau guau as the most decent club in town, where our female friends could also go…but then the experience inside that place… …twas quite something else..the dingiest ugliest and dirtiest joint I’ve ever been in, wow wow made me think…and I was sad….like something somewhere touched a raw nerve….like a wake up call…a rude awakening…

I don’t think I have anything against these clubs…mosta the gals here do it coz they wanna do it…n coz they njoy it…and not becoz somebodys forcing…but then y was I disturbed?….i’m kinda scared to think abt it…maybe the hypocrisy is showing? maybe the flush knob is still far from my reach? fuck

Monday, November 14, 2005

wenz my rendezvous?

i've been pondering a trip to the himalayas or something...meet some sages -the really good ones-...talk to em ask em bully em coax em bribe em convince em to take me in as a disciple...no not for ever, but atleast for some time...just till i have enough...or get bored...whatever comes first..i kinda get jealous of these guys...they r so cool...that kinda self-actualization is really something to brag about....have you thought about it? cant help think how it would feel to be detached...from it all...no emotional dependency on anything or anyone...aint that quite something? a state of pure bliss? interesting thought huh?

but then, as for everything else, there are more questions...what does it really mean to be detached?...does it mean that you ignore atleast some of the feelings that come your way? wouldnt that mean being someone else? atleast for some time? would you like that? i'd like to think its more like soaking up every thought that comes your way...and being at peace with it....a state of harmony...equilibrium...no nagging thoughts no constant conflict in the mind.....the melee of the outside world just slows down to a soothening hum....like a fire test that cleanses you....pure joy...how cool is that?

wonder what it takes to reach there..how long does it take to get convinced that its the right thing? how do you know?...its not gonna b easy...again, its not everday that you get there...and not everyone(who wishes to be there) will make it...i guess the flush knob in the brain needs to work first...deep-six all the junk thoughts...the stray ones...the culprits....turn the filter on....no crowding in the brain...too much to ask huh? maybe...interesting thought anyways :)

Thursday, November 03, 2005

the insatiable apetite...

check the interesting event ;) below...are we really this bad? what does it take to be fully at peace with oneself? do we really need to be sages to attain that kind of realism? or maturity? or is it about self-assurance? guess its all the same...but then would it be boring and monotonous? oh well, how do i know!

There's this young single guy on a cruise ship, having the time of his life. On the second day of the cruise, the ship slams into an iceberg and begins to sink.Passengers around him are screaming, flailing, and drowning but our guy manages to grab on to a piece of driftwood, and using every lastounce of strength, swims a few miles through the shark-infested sea to a remote, deserted island.Sprawled on the shore nearly passed out from exhaustion, he turns his head and sees a woman lying near him, unconscious, barely breathing.She's also managed to wash up on shore from the sinking ship. He makes his way to her, and with some mouth-to-mouth assistance he manages to get her breathing again. She looks up at him, wide-eyed and grateful, "My God, you saved my life!"He suddenly realizes the woman is Cindy Crawford! Days and weeks go by. Cindy and our guy are living on the island together. They've set up a hut, there's fruit on the trees, and they're in heaven. Cindy's fallen madly in love with our man, and they're making passionate love morning, noon and night.Alas, one day she notices he's looking kind of glum. "What's the matter, sweetheart?" she asks, "We have a wonderful life together, I'm in love with you. Is there something wrong? Is there anything I can do?"He says, "Actually, Cin, there is. Would you mind, um, putting on my shirt?" "Uh, sure," she says, "if this will help." He takes off his shirt andshe puts it on."Now would you put on my pants?" he asks. "Sure, honey, if it's really going to make you feel better," she says. "Um, OK, would you put on my hat now, and draw a little moustache on your face?" he asks."Whatever you want, honey," she says, and does. Then he says, "Now, would you start walking around the edge of the island?" She starts walking around the perimeter of the island. He sets off in the other direction. They meet up halfway around the island a few minutes later. He rushes up to her, grabs her by the shoulders, and says,"Dude! You'll never believe who I'm banging!"

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

smile :)

its amazing how such a small thing as wearing an "ethnic" (read kurta) dress to office makes it a happier day! (not to mention the lovely ladies in sarees)

Happy Diwali everyone :)