the green grass.

have you ever wondered what might ensue if everyone got what they wanted? if every wish was granted? every whim, every fancy, every desire, craving and prayer answered and obliged? sounds like an utopian fantasy? look closer, and u realise its more like a prelude to a less appealing aftermath. if you saw glimpses of nirvana around the corner, it might just be an illusion. or a bubble.

there is an inexplicable -atleast obscure- hookup between seeking greener pastures and discontent. One inevitably leads to the other, sooner rather than later, for most of us mere mortals. why? coz we cant stop. even if we write our objectives down, neatly defined and measured. no. its not in our nature to be content -even tickled pink- and remain that way. the mind is wired to look ahead. and ahead -or even sideways for that matter- always seem to sport greener, thicker grass.


is there something amiss here, something wrong? something to be careful abt, to be warned against? is there something to complain abt? even if there is, is there a consequence? now, theres a thought.

no, i'm not on pot.

is it possible to feel completely relaxed? not without pot, u say? but dont we all ache for it, albeit for a brief period? that feeling of absolute stillness? without the blemish of a stray thought, a concern, not a bothering question? dont we all feel at some point to be oblivious of time? like in a trance? or is it just me?

freedom to percieve.

a recent post i read on freedom reminded me of this:

Once when I was living in the heart of a pomegranate, I heard a seed saying, "Someday I shall become a tree, and the wind will sing in my branches, and the sun will dance on my leaves, and I shall be strong and beautiful through all the seasons." Then another seed spoke and said, "When I was as young as you, I too held such views; but now that I can weigh and measure things, I see that my hopes were vain." And a third seed spoke also, "I see in us nothing that promises so great a future." And a fourth said, "But what a mockery our life would be, without a greater future!" Said a fifth, "Why dispute what we shall be, when we know not even what we are." But a sixth replied, "Whatever we are, that we shall continue to be." And a seventh said, "I have such a clear idea how everything will be, but I cannot put it into words." Then an eighth spoke - -and a ninth -- and a tenth -- and then many -- until all were speaking, and I could distinguish nothing for the many voices. And so I moved that very day into the heart of a quince, where the seeds are few and almost silent.

wats on the menu?

so many things have changed. at home. work. outside. some are easy to understand. but some are just way beyond me. just cant make sense. here's some.

stuff that make sense:
->no more feeling lonely. phew! maybe its true. everything happens for a reason. but then this aint no destiny discussion. thats for later.
->im happy. derives directly from above. luv this feeling. every moment. i cud get so used to this. and not complain. aint that something?
->it makes me happier to make her happy. i aint no altruist, but its true, sometimes you can put another person ahead of urself. n it feels just awesome.
->ppl can turn responsible overnight. yes, there is still hope. also, responsibility does not always translate to not being lazy.
->reconfirm fact: relationships are intriguing. and its interesting to keep it that way. and not try to simplify. what if the charm is lost?
->luv is all it takes. or maybe i just got lucky. i have that knack. lucky me.
->not all change makes you feel elated. like at work. theres a feeling of getting stuck in the rut. but then im just too lazy. problem solved.
->i hate maths just way too much to start preparing for cat. thats my line and im sticking to it. stoopid n stubborn.
->im almost five yrs (gaash!) in this company, n all this while ive just been drifting, floating along. inertia might not act this strongly on anyone else.
->i used to hate writing, even mentioning, the word 'i'. now i realise i (see wat i<- mean?) dont have a real choice. thaz the way of the world.
->common man here at home has much more common sense than his cousin in amreeka. dumbness quotient is much lower here. i swear.
->no more feeling an outsider. home is sweet. but then the ATM machines constantly rebuke me, mock me. i guess there is a price for sweetness.



stuff that drives me crazier:
->im gud nuff to figure being happy n being content. can't ever have nuff. maybe thaz the way we r all wired? interesting eh? what if one affects the other? its a duel, no easy(?) way out. a leak somewer? ;)
->i dont want her to get bored at home, i dont want her to be away at work. what the heck? doesnt make no sense to be at two places, albeit for work.
->there is soomuchh ass-licking. few things are done the straight way, no pun ;). wake up n smell the kaapi u say? just too many ppl?
->'u r judged by the size of the team u lead'. bull.
->how dyu drive on these roads? ive driven before, its just been a 2yr brk. the buses. like there is no tomorrow. and with her. scary. maybe i havent noticed the madness before?
->there aint no such thing as courtesy driving. the roads are a mayhem. be kind, get stuck in traffic for eons. savvy?

"Pirate"

fk i wanna c the next part!

ver 1.1

its been a nice lil break, this. and changes too. from phoenix to kochi. from hooked to hitched. from happy-go-lucky to happy-n-lucky.

lots of things are new. its amazing how life changes color and course in a blink. or...does it really change course? maybe it just adapts. fun eitherway.








i'm all excited.