Cogito ergo sum

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Location: Hong Kong

Lazy, Dreamy, Thoughtful, Confident, Hooked on to music, Big smile, A hopeless romantic - sounds like me!

Thursday, October 20, 2005

saying it without saying it...

cliched topic. or thought. a much talked about and beaten to death thing actually. about values. and priorities. about age-old reasonings and changing approaches. not much of a discussion elsewhere, but very much an ongoing debate back home. stuff that sometimes question the way we think. about the levels of conservative behaviour in our culture. and our preparedness to think outside the box. about impending change.

its about family ties. the family legacy, which we all are frightened to tamper with, let alone lose. when the innate comfort zone is nurtured for years on end, we sometimes disinherit our capability to explore. and survive. a ghastly collage of abandonment, contempt and loneliness looms large on anyone who treads the alternate route. theres this collective effort to decimate such thoughts, so that the archaic rules stay intact. there is so much resistance to change.

no, this is not an objection to robust family ties. i'm all for people sticking together. we need each other. but sometimes, it grows to become much more than that. it becomes a chain, an entrapment of sorts. something that binds you to submission. even against your will. and then you feel helpless. the force becomes too large to oppose. it doesnt matter that you are convinced of the path you need to take. you cant. the chain holds you down. there are umpteen things to consider. like all these years. obligations.

its not easy when you know what to do and still cant do it. equivocal tactics. conversations that borderline emotional blackmail. a question of perspectives which has no right or wrong answer. a delicate balancing act. a no-win situation. considerations which land you in this mammoth dilemma. you risk everything. all kindsa alarm bells start to ring. a thousand thoughts clog your brain. you feel lost. you yearn for a sign somewhere. which doesnt come. constant pain rips your peace. bad situ.

all i have on my hands is time (yeah yeah thaz the most stupid line ever, but qualifies perfectly to the quandary i'm in). think. about priorities. how worthy is the big step? is it a point of no return? when push comes to shove, what am i gonna choose? how can i be sure i wont regret it later? tough times. tough questions. pray. hope.

12 Comments:

Blogger Lost in trance... said...

...someday i plan to write abt smthg gud .

10:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmmm The dreaded M word from folks?Welcome to the club....I just did tag you.. so if you have time & mood do fulfill you tag duties ;).Cheers!!

4:56 PM  
Blogger Sonia said...

i SO know what u mean! *hugs*

11:32 PM  
Blogger A and A said...

i feel your pain brother! (mebbe that wasn't expression to use while referring to you, but you know what i mean!) stay loose...

5:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

who r we kidding? We all r a bunch of spineless slobs who would rather please our parents & lead the kind of life they want us to have.
Study, go to u.s, make money.........Parents very happy & proud to brag @ their son/daughter. The minute the son/daughter express free will& pursue sthing he/she wants, all the love flows out of the window. They have no luv for children who doesn't make them look good in front of others. IT IS ALL @ KEEPING UP APPEARENCES, MY FRIEND.

9:13 PM  
Blogger R R said...

hmmm and the conclusion is ............... *drumroll* .......... ?? hehe

2:28 AM  
Blogger Lost in trance... said...

@ jaguu : dude, i've been there. sent you the link.
@ sonia : i am having fun arent i?
@ wishfulthinker : stay loose = stay sane...tough ask :)
@ vasundhara : heres a thought for you(and me) - "We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be. "
@ r r : dunno abt the conclusion(tho i have a feeling), but rite now, i'm in the "futile resistance" phase...(nice pic btw)

8:55 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Gotcha! Small world indeed! ;)

Close your eyes. And a lot of things will turn dark. Shut your emotions and see the light!

P.S:- Don't try this at home though!

11:44 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Sorry, forgot to leave my sig. We go back a long way, dude, around 8 years. GEC, Mech, A Batch. Now u shud b able to figure out.

9:03 PM  
Blogger Lost in trance... said...

@ lazy strokes : Bej?

10:48 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Hmm, so u have normal existence too, can come out of trance occasionally and then brood again!

Nice pic BTW. And very thoughtful on your part to crop away that enviable mane of yours!!! :D

1:16 AM  
Blogger Lost in trance... said...

a master stroke aint it? ;)

10:44 AM  

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