the tussle.

sometimes you have no choice. rather sometimes you fail to acknowledge choices. there is this one outcome that you are prepared to accept. and that is it. its more like being in a trance. like you feel bewitched. possessed by this strong urge to tread the road lesser taken. even if it might lead to vulnerability and eventually a disastrous heartbreak. even if something inside tells you its foreordained. an irrevocable outcome, that you fight, mostly in vain. because somewer deep deep inside, you knew. it wouldnt work. or maybe there aint that level of confidence. that knowledge. which has nothing to with intrepidity of course, which is aplenty. but you wouldnt let go. you dont want to concede to yourself that its over. you drag it. painful by painful day. you question yourself. what if. what if you are wrong? aint love enough? wouldnt everything else fall in place? shouldnt they? but then theres that flicker of a doubt. which is the real culprit. rather the only one. so the tussle continues...