where art thou?

i've lost my mind. rather a better part of it. and i dont even remember when. thaz the best part. somewhere among the noises.
lifez just drifting. drifting like a feather in the wind. like itz yearning for something to keep it afloat. a fresh whiff of air. a new something. a something to look forward to. to wake up alive every morning. without guilt or doubt. to lend meaning to the chaos, this constant melee.
i've known this before. i've known how it feels. which makes the craving painful. almost unbearable.
finding love is never easy. but it cant elude me. not me. and i'll find my love. make it mine forever. then the world will be mine again.
its enuff that i am convinced. but then there are anomalies. fragments of thought that revolt againt it, this the sly agreement with me and myself. rebel neurons. maybe the pain is not erased completely. but if it is, the pain wouldn't be true, rite? hmmm...